I Hold You In My Mind

We carry our relationships with us. Meaning, as we experience important relationships in our life, we create representations of these relationships in our minds. This helps us to anticipate how to get our needs met and how to meet the needs of the other. Simply put, we hold them in our minds and they hold us in theirs. This is core to being human. The irony is we are seldom aware of how these representations influence us. 

Our relationship with God is no different. As we experience a meaningful relationship with God, we also create representations of Him in our minds. In other words, it is how we think God is thinking of us. 

Our representations of God can help or hinder our spiritual walk. Optimally, we would come to know God for Who He really is (i.e., Love, Benevolence, Omnipotence, Sovereignty, Divine Foreknowledge), which would create a relational representation of God that would be different from the representations others in our lives. If not, God may not get a fair share. For instance, if we feel shame because we have a representation of God in our minds that we must hide from God the unloveable parts of ourselves as we did with our parents, then God may not get a chance to be fully God. 

I think a major task in our spiritual walk is to begin the process of understanding our relational representations and their influence. Armed with this information, we could then begin the process of letting God impact us in new ways.

Oh the Fall...

As fall begins, it brings to mind the beginning of the holiday season. However, the holiday season can be overwhelming for many folks. Past memories and painful feelings attached to those memories can create a significant obstacle to enjoying the season. Here are a few suggestions you can do to make it a better experience.

First, try to get more support from close friends. Verbalizing with someone your thoughts and feelings about the upcoming season can alleviate the anxiety and stress.

Second, ask for help when you need it. Trying to carry too much alone while preparing for the different holidays can easily overwhelm anybody. You are not superwoman or superman. Getting others to help is one of the most practical and easy solutions to help ease the load. 

A third strategy would be to increase therapeutic contact by attending more than once per week. Psychotherapy multiple times per week offers greater emotional support and an increased focus to supportively work through painful holiday memories.

Fourth, continue to be active. There are numerous studies that show greater wellbeing is contributed to getting frequent and consistent exercise. The more you keep active in a specific exercise the more it will help you feel calm and contained. 

Putting these four strategies into action can help you survive the tough holiday season and create new memories that are positive and heart warming. Moreover, these practices can also help you survive the tough demands of life through any season.