Your Custom Text Here
Join Dr. Plattner on August 2nd at 2pm as he shares the essential principles and real-world applications of Emotional Intelligent Parenting at the Peoria, IL public library. Don't miss this opportunity to enhance your parenting skills and achieve greater peace in your between you and our child.
Click the link below to get all the details:
https://peoria.librarycalendar.com/event/emotionally-intelligent-parenting-23584
Guilt And Forgiveness In Parenting
Guilt in parenting is a common feeling throughout a parent’s journey. As we all know, we do not get instruction manuals for our children. Thus, parents can feel quite on their own while needing to make daily decision for their child.
Most times, the decisions and actions you choose to do towards your child will be helpful; other times, decisions and actions you will make will not be the best. Usually this happens when your resources are low ( i.e. not enough sleep, over worked, pressures from family, financial pressures) and your child is not listening to what you need them to do or they are down right refusing. It is in these moments where the yelling, demanding, or aggressiveness arises in the interaction. Not fun for anyone involved! This is where parents feel the most guilt and as we can all understand, feeling guilt is a very common experience in parenting.
A more sinister dynamic of guilt is how closely it resembles shame. Shame is a similar experience, but it is quite a different emotion. It is “heavier” and feels permanent. Shame is linked to a belief about who you are (your character) whereas guilt is feeling bad about a behavior that was not helpful. It could be said -- shame is character based, guilt is behavior based. When feeling shame, you will construct beliefs that are “all or nothing” and not based in the Truth of who you are. For example, “I will never be a good parent” or “I will not be good enough as a mother or father” or “ I will never be able to not damage my child” to name a few. These belief systems can get deeply rooted and will become very difficult to uproot. Obviously, letting shame take hold of you is something we want to avoid. The key in parenting is to “settle” the guilt feelings as soon as possible because if the wrong behaviors are not righted, shame will begin to take hold of your emotional world.
The key to “settle” guilt feelings and stop shame from taking root is the act of forgiveness. In particular, forgiveness to yourself and your child. To do this, move into an intentional space as soon as possible after you have chosen to do an unhelpful behavior by simply asking for forgiveness from your child. Use the guilt feelings as motivation to rectify the situation and move forward. Remember your child is very resilient and only wishes to stay connected with you. Once you have asked for forgiveness and you have forgiven yourself, shame has no place in stay in your emotional world. It is here where you will begin to start feeling more free.
As you develop the practice of asking for forgiveness, shame will be kept at the door. You will feel better about your parenting and it will create a deeper bond with your child. Moreover, your child will grow to have a greater appreciation for you as they will know you care deeply about the relationship with them. I hope this understanding helps build a stronger connection to your child by filling it with more moments of love and repair, all the while instilling a deeper care for yourself and confidence in your parenting abilities.
I am excited to announce I have my own TikTok channel! I will be sharing how to help parents navigate the many ups and downs of parenting all through the lens of Nature. These will be short videos focused on education and inspiration! See you there!
The Golden Rule, also known as the Ethic of Reciprocity or Do Unto Others, is a fundamental Principle for creating safety and prosperity in families and communities. It encourages us to treat others as we would like to be treated ourselves. As parents, it is our responsibility to instill these values into our children so they grow up to become empathetic, compassionate individuals. I really enjoy helping parents come to re-discover this simple yet profound Principle in their parenting skill set. Here are some tips on how you can teach your children about the Golden Rule:
Lead by Example: Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Practice the Golden Rule yourself and your child will naturally follow suit. Show empathy towards others, be kind to strangers, help those in need, apologize sincerely when you make a mistake - these actions speak louder than words.
Use Stories: Storytelling is an effective way of teaching values to children. Share stories from your own life or read books that illustrate the Golden Rule. There are numerous children's books available which teach this principle in engaging ways. One that stands out for younger children is called "Have You Filled a Bucket Today?" by Carol McCloud.
Make it a Family Value: Discuss the Golden Rule regularly with your family. Incorporate it into your daily conversations and routines. You could even create a family mission statement or set of values that include the Golden Rule as one of its guiding principles.
Celebrate Successes: Finally, celebrate your child's successes when they demonstrate kindness and empathy towards others. Praise their efforts and remind them how proud you are of their actions. This positive reinforcement will motivate them to continue practicing the Golden Rule.
These simple yet engaging methods to teach our children about the Golden Rule begin instilling morality into their hearts and minds. As they grow, this Moral compass will keep them safe and help them thrive in life. The beauty of this world is sustained by the goodness of our children. May we use our Care to help our children create a beautiful world for themselves and their children.
I am excited to be apart of Music and Sky and their great family camping event coming up next month in June, 2024!
My presentation will be entitled “Natural Law Parenting.” I will share how parents can find their inner organization when they begin to feel overwhelmed and stuck. I will share how parents can support their child’s development from a psychological, environmental, and moral prescriptive. It will be a wonderful weekend with a great community.
Check out all the details at musicandsky.com.
